Greystones Swingers Club Hits The Nationals!

Walt must be spinning…

e’ve all heard the rumours, been told of the myths, the den in depravity up in Applewood Heights..

And so, it’s no wonder that we’ve always had our suspicions.

Especially when we see any perma-tanned men with open-neck shirts and gold chains strutting down Church Road, a plastic bag of tins clattering by their side.

But now, it would appear that those rumours might just be true – Greystones does have a Swingers Club.

Why else would The Irish Sun be ringing your friendly soaraway Guide asking if we knew of any recent shenanigans in that direction?

Bejiggers, of course not. We’re far too prudish for that kind of depraved dilly-dallying. Even if, much to our horror, we have recently been informed of an Applewood Heights party circa 1989 that involved a lot of nudity. And wriggling. And giggling. On the living room shag pile.

Then again, haven’t there always been rumours of a Swingers Club around here, going back to when men and women first realised how to empty a fish bowl?

The man from The Irish Sun tells us that they have a tape. And then he asks us about a certain Greystones bar highly popular with the town’s cougar contingent.

Holy Moly! So, we weren’t that far off last September.

Turns out he said ‘tip’, not ‘tape’. Still. When we plead both innocence and ignorance as to the current state of play on the Swingers Club front in Greystones, our man from The Irish Sun quickly makes his excuses, and retreats back into his dark, dank corner, telling us that the tip was probably nothing, and that, hey, sorry to have bothered you…

And with that, he hung up.

So, watch that tabloid, people! Very soon, a certain group of wide-eyed Greystonians might just be in for a whole different kind of spanking.