If the Irish had ever suffered from that dreaded superiority complex and set about trying to conquer the rest of the world, chances are, our Utopian ideal of The Perfect Paddy wouldn’t be a million miles away from Jonty Byrne.
Tall, charming, good-looking, well-mannered and quick to laughter, Jonty would be a fine blueprint should the Irish ever do get around to becoming The Master Race.
Tall, charming, good-looking, well-mannered and quick to laughter, Jonty would be a fine blueprint should the Irish ever do get around to becoming The Master Race.Which, in may ways, we already are, having long ago realised that, in this world, fighting just leads to a vacuum of hate, to a hall of cracked mirrors. Instead, for the Irish, it doesn’t really matter whether you’re black, white, red, blue-in-the-face or even French – if you give us any grief, we’ll hold a grudge against you for the rest of our lives. If not longer.
No point in going to war, and engaging in endless battles. Too time-consuming, tiring and, ultimately, boring. Better to let the animosity simmer. Forever.
Not that Jonty Byrne appears to have a bad bone in his body, being every bit as polite and courteous as his father, John, when approached by GG to appear on our weekly My Greystones column. And we were, of course, happy to have this fine, upstanding young Greystonian join the long and illustrious line.
Despite the fact that his beautiful mother, Helen, had informed us that her son likes nothing better than mock-imitating GG as we mumble a merry tune on a recent Greystones walkabout video.
Still, it helps that we’ve known Jonty ever since he could run under a kitchen table without hitting his head. Today, he can barely make it through the door without stooping down.
Not that we know all that much about the boy. Which is why we asked his younger sister, Penny, to put together a few words listing what makes Jonty a great brother.
Penny’s answer? “But that would make everyone think that I actually like my brother…”
I blame the parents.
You can indulge in more My Greystones luminaries right about here.